jealousy

In your eyes I only know how to play games

All my life revolve around the internet

All you know is that I'm not worth your time

Nagging and acting like a child

And on your mind she's the perfect girl you've always dreaming 'bout

Oh holy shit how she couldn't be compared to me, the girl that only knows how to play games

I'm jealous, at how you act so indifferently at me

It honestly crush my ego, since I always know my worth

Only you and your presence alone makes me feel so small yet so strong, since you don't know what I've been dealing with all of this time. 

I dunno about her, she's a new girl in my life, she said she used to live here, but here you met me first. Then her. 

I don't know why I feel this way, I don't like you anymore, but the fact that I still write about you and remember all the odd detiles about you, tells me that I'm still into you. 

And I hate the fact that it was true so I guess my ego got hurt double as it counts. 

I wanna act nonchalantly, just let the day goes by like nothing happens, but the more I tried to ignore it, the more the pain stings. 

Why am I jealous at your simple act to her? It isn't a big deal that I should be worried about and fussing about, but I guess it's because I wish there's someone who put me as a special someone and being treated with something they won't do to others, positively. 

I gues because all my life I'm the good girl facing all these fuck boys now I got ruined, going places trying everything yet still I couldn't find the one, and she came and got you the coldest winter melt hooked head over heels. 

And I'm jealous with her charm. 

Can I be like her, sometimes I thought to myself. 

But I like being me, I said to myself. 

But I know me so well that I'm the hardest to handle, sometimes, and most of the times. 

But what a girl without all the Imperfection? 

But when it comes to me, I become the exception? 

I had to be like someone else if I want to have the things she have and I can't? 

But honestly I like being me.

I have brightest colors that can dull someone else's. 

So I acknowledge that I'm too much to handle.

But I don't deserve someone that is dull and have no colors. 

I always imagine how about someone who as bright and as contrast as me? 

Can we handle each others? 

Damn these thoughts... Now instead of jealous I'm more of insecure to myself.