The Gracie Pearlpeace★

Sigh... Gak panjang2 I just wanna say I'm envious and I'm very jealous. I mean if they genuinely don't wanna celebrate my birthday or giving surprise it's fine.  Just say busy or whatever.

Verse 1 Aku yang sekarang tak ingin lagi menjadi kuat Aku yang selalu menjaga hatiku dengan tembok yang diruntuhkan dalam semalam. Aku merasakan rasa sakit dari patah hati, dulu ku tak bisa kabur, kini ku punya pilihan.  Ingin menjadi gadis cengeng yang suka kabur.  Ku ingin berlari menjauh, dari hal-hal yang menyedihkan.  Reff: Tolong biarkan ku kabur, ku tak mau menghadapi skenario ini.  Sudah bertahun-tahun lamanya aku menjaga hidupku.  Sia-sia karena cinta.  Tolong biarkan ku sendiri, menjauhi kerumunan.  Di tengah musim hujan, air mataku berlinang, mengisyaratkan hati ku yang remuk. Verse 2 Aku yang sekarang berdiri ditengah kalian berdua. Meski dunia ini ramai, tapi diruangan ini kehadiran kalian sangat menyesakkan. Aku merasakan hebatnya rasa cemburu, dulu ku tak bisa menang, kini pun ku tak bisa. Ingin menjadi gadis pengecut, kabur dari realita. Ku ingin merlari pulang, dengan jantung ku yang berdegup kencang. Reff : Tolong biarkan ku kabur, ku...

Haii guys, this is mee wkwkwk Postingan kali ini versi kesadaran penuh ku ya, gaada puitis2an bahasa enggre2an sksks Postingan kali ini isinya full aku ngoceh, curhat tentang apa yang telah terjadi selama kurun waktu... Tertentu ini wkwkwkwk Mumpung dah bulan November juga, ksgsownlsuavdisksksks udah penghujung tahun 2025, ohmagaaat udah berapa tahun blog ini berdiri? Wkwkwkwk lupa nanti aku cek coba (lehh) Pertama-tamaaaaaa APA YANG TERJADI PADAKU BEBERAPA POSTINGAN KEBELAKANG INI Banyak, tulisan2 enggres, lirik lagu buatan sendiri, maupun share lagu2 yang udah exist. Sksks aku jatuh cinta guys :P Jujur aja aku yang mintak buat jatuh cinta, lebih tepatnya ngerasain rasanya sakit hati waktu unrequited love lagi, gabut apa gimana waktu itu aku gatau, tapi bener2 kek hampa banget hatiku rasanya, gaada dorongan buat nulis, gambar, apalah pokoknya gaada karya seni yang keluar dari otakku, isinya excel excel dan excel dan juga kerjaan yang isinya excelllll Kotak2 semua yang kuli...

It first came from a lonely dream Of having the things we wanted the most A simple happiness amidst storm A company, a dear friend Two souls with same dream met In time we get together we're doing so great It was so simple yet cruel Separated so far we wished each others eyes We're lonely for so long until at sometime Our path detached. Seeing the you now looking so lost How far have you left your little old self? Purer than mine yet now you're in the dark alley While I'm here seeing you fall even depeer Yet you don't even feel lost and that is just sad. That dream were now fulfilled Just not on the terms we think it should be. From my side of the story I found my place, the place I'm so grateful Imperfect yet so imperfectly perfect A place I can actually grow up to be a better adult And when you're here I want you to have all the best things I have From your side of the story You prolly have tasted the love you're longing for Looks perfect yet so destru...

You're not the same person I used to know You're a complete stranger.  You've changed so much.  Not better but worse...  You say you hated your own country You hate how you look You hate everything in the world Even hate yourself You only love money, you only want love You'd do everything but actually nothing right to get the attention.  You know what you actually need?  You need to change your mindset. Stop blaming how this world's working It has always been like this ever since then Why other girls are prettier?  It's because the have the confidence that you don't have, no matter how ugly the truth is you would never be satisfied.  It's you who are wrong, I tried to lead you to the right path but you keep running away, your own fear controling your mind and now look at you.  You're ruined by your own life choices, see what I told you.  Well darling now look at you just look at you.  I know that confidence in you now are fake, that's ju...

In your eyes I only know how to play games All my life revolve around the internet All you know is that I'm not worth your time Nagging and acting like a child And on your mind she's the perfect girl you've always dreaming 'bout Oh holy shit how she couldn't be compared to me, the girl that only knows how to play games I'm jealous, at how you act so indifferently at me It honestly crush my ego, since I always know my worth Only you and your presence alone makes me feel so small yet so strong, since you don't know what I've been dealing with all of this time.  I dunno about her, she's a new girl in my life, she said she used to live here, but here you met me first. Then her.  I don't know why I feel this way, I don't like you anymore, but the fact that I still write about you and remember all the odd detiles about you, tells me that I'm still into you.  And I hate the fact that it was true so I guess my ego got hurt double as it counts.  I...

When peace in your life get disturbed  You feel the whole world are plotting against you right now Noon as night and night as noon When everyone rest their body you just started your day, you're exploring part when nothing's awake You're stranded and lonely, you try to reciprocate but you keep loosing your feet You body losing the time, you can survive the day without food but you'll die without sleep But at night you'll need energy and will die doing nothing. You wonder that this is the right punishment for whatever sins you've done You want to go back and find whatever anchor you're standing with but you've lost too far away. You've gone missing. You try to drink as much as you need when you're with your faithful friends, but it's hard to just show how broken you are. Afraid to look unappealing while you're already a nobody You still afraid to lose the one and only face you're wearing right now And it's maddening, how can God se...

May, I have lost my senses Summer in June's heat dried me up Loud cricket on July been bothering my peace It's such a mess, I'm a mess September, first rain start pouring down After the drought you brought upon my heart River finally flows again, it's so vivid The cold wind that I've been missing since 2022 I finally back to my senses Have you feel it? The cold wind after rain. Realest rain I've felt after long summer with you There's no sadness only tranquility It's so peaceful here, and I found myself Let me get soaked by the rain I'd rather let myself catch a cold Than catch another feeling I can't detour This cold doesn't hurt me, I feel alive Like a fish longing for the sea A dramatic hydrangea with it's love for water Sand and wind, clear sky and sun, no clouds to be seen You're like the sahara, the only place in this world I can't stand. You think I can adapt and willing to live as a succulent my whole life. But I don't...

I keep repeating the same song for over a month I keep it on to put heavy stress on my head Remind me again and again how I don't deserve you Or you don't deserve me How I regret not being kind to you  Or how I regret why you would try to get close and suddenly you spit me out from your thought  I'm mad, I've been blaming you and myself Everytime I feel happy I put a song that will always have you to haunt me I turn up the volume until it destroy my hearing Let me go deaf, or blind, mute whatever it is that makes me stop feeling you. Day goes by, you found your one and I'm here repeating my new habits again and again until I can't tell if I'm numb or lost my mind, but if being insane mean I can't feel you anymore then so be it Don't feel happy, I wish you to bear the sin and the guilt for making me go down this path. Forever be happy with your girl, but I know my sin will always haunt you till death do you appart.

Currently in the making hahah Beberapa lagu udah banyak yang selesai, ada beberapa yang lagi proses bakar otak buat cari nada yang enak. There going to be 2 albums... About a journey of what happened to me these past few... I dunno weeks? I guess. Aku juga bakalan kasi penjelasan orr teasers about what this song is about... Aku bakal up track listnya dulu sih belum full lirik. Anyway here you go! "Path of One Self" 1. Spotlights  2. Regret meets Fate 3. Path of One Self 4. The ending 5. Duality Okkey bakalan aku jelasin teasers lagunya, untuk album ini fokus ke Life after break up haha apakah explisit? I try my best to supress it down, but I can't promise it will be completely clean. But again I'll try Spotlights.  Di lagu ini lebih kayak coping mechanism ku buat ngelupain si ex dengan cara inget2 lagi my actual worth, dan inget kalo selama ini yang dia lakuin bahkan kata2nya ke aku itu sebenernya gaada maksud yang bikin aku baper malah normally aku bakalan sakit hati...

Hari ini... Aku harus berterimakasih sama diriku sendiri karena kuat :'D jujur aslinya gak kuat... Jam ku geter2 nge-alert High HR... Wkwkw 136bpm gak tuh? Rasanya lemes, kepleh, kayak orang linglung, tapi aku harus sembunyiin, aku harus tahan aku harus bisa ACT NORMAL   And oohh isn't it the toughest thing I've ever done when it comes to my condition? Pengen nangis? Wah pengen banget Pengen marah? Pengen Pengen ngamuk? Apalagi itu Tapi... Again. Grace harus bisa kuat dan tegar, karena kalo gak bisa jadi bahan bulan2an nanti. I hate it there. Tbh. Tuhan, Grace sudah berusaha semaksimal mungkin untuk bertahan, tapi ini udah gak kuat. Aku pulang duluan. Hide myself in the room. Trying to find my peace. Makasih ya Grace, buat senyum dan kuatmu yang kamu paksakan. You've done well. Thank you, myself.

You can hear the sound of cracks. The sound of the ending.

Song-list 1. Troublemaker 2. Night on Summer (On-process) 3. Non-Chalant-Ly (On-Process) 4. Another One 5. I Hate It All About You 6. I Own My Own Heart (On-process) 7. Imperfectly Perfect 8. Bitterly Sweet 9. Crush 10. Confession 1. Troublemaker Verse 1 Honey honey in this fucked up world  Lemme tell ya don't be kind. That's a new crime and sin. Trust me you'll get trouble if you're one of 'em. Innocence, honesty, and genuine are on the highest bounty. If you're naive then your time to die is expected near. Bridge  Oh dear i know it's such a shame. But your kindness is too precious. Just sell it somewhere else safe. Reff: If trying to give your best means troublemaker Then let me ruin this whole world and be number one on hit list. If standing on your ground means rebellious Then lemme step on your ego and make it a rad scene you'll always cherish. Troublemaker Troublemaker  Troublemaker yeah! Verse 2 Troublemaker is my middle name But I like to make it...

A hopeless romantic to the core. Yang selalu menangis saat datang ke upacara pernikahan. Yang selalu membayangkan betapa bahagia dan indahnya pasangan yang tertawa kesal setelah menghabiskan waktunya untuk berargumen tentang hal-hal yang tidak terlalu relevan. Gadis muda yang cintanya selalu di injak-injak Keluguan ditengah anak-anak yang berakting seakan setelah lulus sekolah mereka akan langsung menikah dan hidup bahagia tidak seperti pendahulu mereka yang meninggalkan jejak luka yang tidak dapan disembuhkan hanya dengan kata maaf dan air mata. Gadis yang memberikan cinta yang tulus, hewan yang tidak bisa berkata pun dia tahu cara berbahasa kasih. Gadis yang selalu menjadi antagonis di mata para wanita lainnya yang mengejar pangeran yang bersandar di singgasana menunggu semua wanita berlari menghampirinya, menyuapinya dengan anggur dan kemewahan yang tidak kudus. Gadis yang melukis wajah kekasihnya Gadis yang menulis namanya menjadikan 1 kata menjadi ribuat kata, ratusan halaman. Yan...

The day I fell for you was a curse struck It was so new since I've learned everything to not screw every moment up Back like a teenager again, but this time walking carefully I had to control every face every tone every move Not to show even the slightest interest Acting so good, no one knows the reality The pain I had to hold back All the lies I told to myself Just so I can act normal around you But back at my room I'm screaming in silent. Crying in desperate quiet night I can't let my heart take control on public Especially when I got jealous People would notice, you would notice  And I would be left ashamed for liking you. Like Taylor, I wrote all my desperate expression  A Diaries, a Poems, a Lyrics. The face I couldn't make around people and you The tone I should've used when I talk but I couldn't and wouldn't. The body language I should've shown around you. The desperate wish on my mind every time you didn't look my way. Every curses and prayer...

Another mood haha, beberapa lagu yang aku denger berulang kali, karena moment-nya akhir2 ini lagi falling in love, mellow2 cloudy, sama Alt-rock emo gimanaaa gitu Belum lama ini aku suka sama temen I dunno if I can call him that, kita kenal udah agak lama, cukup lama, awalnya (ah iya cerita dikit background-nya wkwkwk sebelum masuk lirik, because I like telling storyyy :3) itu dia buka tipe ku, manis sih iyaa, dibilang ganteng well so so, cuman yang bikin meleleh itu gentleman-nya dia ARUSGLAUXMWPA ergm... Tapi, haha ada plus ada minus, mulutnya itu loh HIH! Tuajem banget aku sampek kadang itu judeg sendiri, yaa gak salah sih kata2-nya cuman sugar-coat-in dikit gitu, orang mah kalo lagi sensitif kan gak ada yang tau ya kan? The safest place was try not to say it with harsh or blunt words... Tapi dia nggak, wkwkwk, ya gak salah sih gak semua bisa lembut cuman ya baru kali itu aku ketemu + denger langsung. So yes! Dari situ udah langsung beku lagi hatiku "Bah tajem amat ni orang....

A story about... Grace who's life now falling appart. Kerasa banget waktu udah "dewasa" gini ternyata setiap tulisan, setiap kata-kata dan kalimat yang aku tulis dulu itu cringe banget, tapi ada rasa nostalgia juga sih waktu baca... Dibilang dewasa banget juga nggak, soon, on October, I'll turn 22 y.o Iya... Kalo aku yang di umur 16 tahun ngetik ini sekarang pasti bakal bilang "Itu sudah dewasa, sudah bisa jadi wanita yang bisa di andalkan." No doubt she'll says something like that. How naive. Aku masih ngerasa aku belum seharusnya dewasa, umur 22 aku ngerasa terlalu cepet, atau mungkin normal umur 22 aku masih labil sama semua hal di hidupku, gatau. I feel so lost... Gak cuman keluarga ku yang semakin hancur, makin gak ada yang waras tiap member, aku sendiri gak punya anchor . Kayaknya aku mulai jauh dari Tuhan (?) Gatau, kayaknya iya, aku... Burn out. Di kecewakan berkali-kali... Berkaliiii-kaliiii, rasanya aku gak bisa memegang kendali apa-apa, harus ...

Cerita di sini lebih lega, meskipun link-nya ada di IG & Twitt ku tapi gaada yang mampir akwkwkw yaudah jadi safe place ku aja. Aku suka sama dia akhir2 ini, aku seneng sih bisa rasain rasanya suka sama cowok lagi setelah well... Beberapa tahun hatiku gak pernah ngerasain suka... Jadi kayak tawar gitu. But I should've known better lah ya... The age gap is like 8 years bruh... Hahaha besar kemungkinannya kalo dia mungkin cari yang jarak umurnya gak jauh2 banget. And today.... I guess he found her. Congrats tho, I'm trully happy.... Well sad for me but happy for you... You've found your place too. You look happier hahaha. Untungnya perasaan ku belum dalem banget, aku mutusin buat nyelesai-in rasa suka ku... Udah lah mungkin memang untuk saat ini sampai kedepannya aku kunci aja hatiku, suka sama seseorang itu merepotkan. Yaudah lah ya... Aku harus lebih bisa kontrol diriku kalo deket dia, ngobrol sama dia, atau yah sekedar liat dia... Anehnya hatiku gak sesakit sampek sese...

Kali ini aku mau cerita tentang pengalaman UPGRADE nge-WL ku!!! Setelah berminggu-minggu lalu aku sempet burn-out sama nge-WL di gereja, minggu ini rasanya kayak a blessing (without disguise) karena ini bener-bener blessing yang langsung dan nyata dari Tuhan XD 29/6/2026 Hi aku Auhtor G. aku jujur lupa ini ceritanya tentang apa... tapi buat kenang2an aku tetep upload aja Thank dah mampir :D Beberapa jam kemudian aku kayaknya mulai inget ini tentang apa, tapi setelah aku cek lagi kayaknya tanggal Draft ini ke update, karena cerita tentang per-WLan ini harusnya terjadi di tahun 2024, tanggal dan bulannya yang tepat berapa... hmmm wait ya aku cek arsip stories IG-ku wkwkwk. OK Ketemu. kalo bener tebakanku gak salah ya, ini draft yang aku buat untuk ceritain pengalaman happy ku nge-WL setelah beberapa kali WL aku gak pernah "sempurna" -Aku akui memang gaada yang sempurna, aku sendiri bikin banyak kesalahan, tapi yang aku gak suka itu cara mereka negur aku atau 'mengingatkan...

Jiwa seniku sudah lama aku pendam... Reality hits me harder... Now i'm a corporate slave... I'd love to create something... But everytime I did it feels so meaningless